As a civilisation, we are becoming increasingly isolated as we correspond ever more through computers and less and less via personal interactions. In my hypnotherapy practice this is all too evident as I see ever more socially isolated clients.
We need to understand that we are not utilising our verbal skills when we employ remote communication methods and if our kids grow up making use of them they will not learn them to start with. Programmes like Skype and Facetime help as we can get some of the visual cues but it is just not the same as being there with the individual.
How could this lack of social skills affect us now and in the long term? Insufficient social skills could result in real difficulties for people, for example when meeting new people or being in big social groups, as they just do not look and feel up to the job.
Social phobia has been around for decades, having said that, these new technological facets are making things even worse.
Boosting confidence is quite possibly the most prevalent issue I see within my hypnosis practice, in particular when the client is dealing with group social events. In the main, they are fearful that they will do or say something that could make them look ridiculous and be judged as a result. They solve this issue by either not going to start with or ensuring they don’t do or say something that will draw attention to themselves.
Hypnosis is very effective at solving this sort of issue. Even so, helping people to look and feel more assured for a short time just delivers a temporary solution. The actual reason for the issue has to be sorted out before this problem can be fixed long term.
It is all very well to put the blame on our current society, but most of the time a deficiency of self-confidence has its roots in past conditioning from critical parents or partners, bullying or being mocked in class. These past memories need to be dealt with first to prepare the groundwork for establishing new levels of confidence. As soon as the power of these old events has been removed the individual is ready for an improvement in self-confidence. So once done, we are able to move on to the next thing.
There are certainly limitations to what a hypnotherapist is able to do.
In addition to making a customer feel more confident, we have to get the individual to start increasing social relationships and having more physical interaction with people. Normally, the hypnotherapist may work with the person to ensure they are self-confident when entering these scenarios. Joining a club or going to an evening class can be all that is needed – as long as there is a good level of social connections. The critical aspect is to stay open and reactive to others in the room.
Through the entire process, the hypnotherapist should support and encourage the individual. The client will gradually build their self-confidence on the solid footings they have already laid down. By doing this the customer builds the long term transformation that they came to see the hypnotherapist for.
Giselle Monbiot, said “So many of my clients come to me thinking the are weird as they see everyone else happily interacting, in social situations; situations that they find really painful. They start to realise that many people have created coping strategies for their own social anxieties. The great thing about Cognitive Hypnotherapy is that as the root issue is addressed, whether it be parents, teachers or peers that have created that feeling inside, together we can take away the power of the anxiety. You gain control over your own responses. ”
Giselle Monbiot, a professional therapist, has been helping people in and around Kingston upon Thames recover their confidence for many years.
07847 386562 www.kingstonhypnotherapy.co.uk