Coaching and working with the challenges that many women can face provides a rich tapestry of issues to transform. The common lack of self belief and confidence can be just as strong prior to having children as after. It is often noticeable that the women who are yet to have children, often believe that a lot of their loneliness and discontent will disappear once they have had children. The women I meet who are mothers, often mention that they still feel unfulfilled now they have children. This is underpinned with a strong sense of guilt and responsibility that in some ways they are not living up to the preconceived ideas that were dreamed up before motherhood. Sometimes the pain is stronger as their family’s needs seem to become a greater part of their existence.
Not knowing what it is that is wrong, the external issues shown can be elevated stress levels, feeling as though they don’t have enough time, having an underlying feeling of being unhappy with their lives and feeling very stuck within their unhappiness. Women often mention they are juggling a lot of balls as they attempt to fulfill their children’s, their partner’s and career needs, whilst being responsible for most of the household chores. Life is expensive, expectations are high. Their own needs are often completely lost or left way down in their endless to do lists. Feeling guilty about being unfulfilled, as the topic is one that is left for behind closed doors.
We are drip fed, from a very early age, that life will rescue us. Dream enough and Prince Charming will come along. Hope enough and the pain will go as your pot of gold will arrive at your door.
I’m really sorry to say that this is extremely unlikely. Sorry! Of course there are exceptions to the rules. But in general, waiting for life to sort us out will remain a waiting game and the discontent just grows deeper. And often we make half-hearted attempts to make relevant changes. But underlying belief systems such as I am not good enough; I do not deserve success; I am not worthy enough; I don’t have enough time stops you from fully throwing yourself into the project.
The women I know who have fulfilling lives are the ones who know the secret to life. And this is a very simple secret. We have choice. We can be victims, waiting for life to happen. Or we can take the decision to choose life. Creating your path and where you go. Creating your destiny is so much more empowering, fun and fulfilling. We can choose how we respond to our daily challenges and what we put our attention to. We can choose to give up because there was something that got in the way, or we can choose whether we find a way to walk around that obstacle. My clients who are truly successful in their transformation are the ones who are truly committed to themselves taking full responsibility for the changes they wish to experience. They see my value as the guide to steering them through the maze. In other words, they are creating their path…and they start living in ways that means they really enjoy life again. Empowered and able to take on life with joy, enthusiasm and passion.
If there was one thing that you would change in your life that would mean that you were heading to a more fulfilled life, what would it be? Your career? Your relationship? Maybe you would like to get fitter and join a gym? Take some time out to relax? Everyone can think of one thing. And around that area, ask yourself what is the first step you could take to make that happen? Every journey has to begin with one step..and then another..and then another. How much better would your life be if you started to walk each new step taking you closer and closer to where you would like to be heading? That is creating. That is taking the lead in your life. I know which one I choose. If you need a helping hand, ask a friend who is achieving what you want to achieve, or find a coach. Or if your belief system is stopping you then find a good therapist. That can be the first step to creation. Do whatever you need to start living the life you want. Go on I dare you…Start really living your life by creating where you are heading. Go For It!